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Impatient Behaviours are Complicated

I immediately felt annoyed after I had published my last post about Patience in a very simplistic way. I am not a patient person.

There are a myriad of reasons why someone behaves "impatiently" other than just being "impatient", as in cases such as gushing over somebody, throwing temper tantrums and demanding immediate actions from somebody. The most common triggering state is anxiety over uncertainty so that immediate actions or results are demanded to relieve the anxiety and its associated uncomfortable feelings. Moreover, someone who has been repeatedly frustrated for a long period of time may tend to think that other people are intentionally or unintentionally in his/her way. The pent up feeling that he/she has already been a victim of bad luck or even unfairness can be easily triggered by everyday hiccups. People with sad or depressed mood also tend to think negatively and irritated easily. Perfectionists, on the other hand, expect things to be done not only in a flawless way but also at a lightning speed...

After all, many circumstances where patience is required do not allow estimation of the waiting time because there may be no deadline, and may not involve a target person, for instance, when the pandemic is going to end. Changing how we estimate the waiting time, our experience during waiting and how we reappraise the target person with empathy may work sometimes but not all the time (if you don't know what I'm talking about, please refer to the last post).

Nevertheless, people still hang on with persistence and perseverance. Some possess forbearance as a personality trait. Some look for the silver linings. Some work out solutions to enhance resilience. Some live in the present moment. Some avoid thinking about the negative. Some focus on the meaning of experiences. Some let go of worries. Some control the way to express frustration and annoyance. Some process and resolve own unfinished business behind the pent-up feelings...

You want to understand why you have been impatient, how to deal with it and which methods suit you? Perhaps a Clinical Psychologist who appreciates the complexity of patience and life may help (Oh yes, this is a commercial. Cheers!).

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